My birthday and Mother’s Day are both occurring this weekend. Its put me in a reflective mood – reflecting on my life, my life as it relates to my daughters and being a mother. All of which is now tied up in a fight against 2 intimidating diseases – celiac and type 1 diabetes.
I’m a pretty tough woman and that part of my personality – strength in adversity – is something I will admit to being mildly proud of. Still, I find that inner strength is sometimes just not enough when a person…in this case, a mother…… is faced with a direct threat to the well-being of her child(ren).
Like most every mother on our planet, I react like an injured mother bear when either of my daughters is threatened; and threats can take on many forms – human, physical, emotional. When the threat comes in the form of an illness, we dragon slaying, momma bears have no one and nothing to slay in the name of our children. So what the hell do we do then? I’m not sure I’ve entirely figured that out yet. So far my ‘slaying’ methods have included activism, educating, fundraising, empowering my daughter in her personal acceptance of these diseases, quite a bit of sarcasm – and occasionally overreacting. Doing these things has helped, but I find more often than not, I feel very inadequate and lacking in that ‘strength in adversity’ characteristic that I mentioned earlier.
I would love to end this blog post by being able to say that all this reflecting led me to an enlightened state of being. Ummm, no. I’m still stumbling through womanhood, motherhood and wifelyhood (I just made that term up, ha ha) – stumbling head on into mistakes and miracles on a daily basis. And while I would give my life to destroy or take into my own body, the monsters that Nikki has been charged with slaying; I would not give up a second of any part of the last 17 years – the amount of time I’ve spent as a mother.
I wish the entire dragon slaying population of moms a very blessed Mother’s Day.
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed;her husband also, and he praises her. Proverbs 31: 26-28
**picture by countocram-deviantart